yes a lisp....

I am 23 years old fellow and I have lisp impediment since birth.  Today I’ve decided to speak out, that how a lisp disorder individual endure such pain. I don’t know  why I am  even writing this ,I know that expressing issues can’t resolve the problems but it feels less distress then. My lisping problem is actually inherited from my mother , so its obviously a genetic  cause. Till the third standard I didn’t realize or anybody has never pointed me on how I speak , probably because I was just a kid and nobody specifically noticed until one day I was talking to my classmate and a girl came from another class cracked  a joke on how i talk. Let me first describe what lisp actually is – it’s a speech disorder/ impediment where a person has difficulty speaking some words with letters S’ Z ‘TH clearly and there are many other words too but these are some commonalities as  I am experiencing it so. Now that I am fully aware of it I try avoid those words which sounds like lisping , i am still trying  to speak slowly or ignore those slangs but as usual my efforts  couldn’t succeed or never going to . Anyways,  I remember each and every single moment when not even my friends but the  teachers in school mocked me , its not less than a crime . When I speak in front of  new people, I became so slushy and always scared that if these people get to know about my problem they will laugh on me hard ,so only people who knew me close understand it. In school days my classmates imitate my wordings, sometimes I ignore or many a times or you can say I never opposed anybody if they laughed on my speech, it’s not like I can’t speak if I lisp,but I drowned  or blame myself so deeply that nothing came out of my mouth  so instead of talking back I rather down my head or kept quiet and waited until they stop. Last year during the  internship days the supervisor asked me to explain something, the moment I started explaining meanwhile the girls sitting in front of me and supervisor too started laughing like hell, which was really a awful moment, my eyes were  full of tears and anger but I couldn’t be able to do anything , many people said that  they are unable to understand  what I am talking about, not all people are same, many of them never felt like I have a speech issue. Even though I am struggling through such difficulties I tried to apply for jobs but there also I faced the same issue of not being capable of anything. Despite these issues I never get that much support or encouragement or attention from my family, my mother left me when I was four , things are just always quiet  difficult for me from childhood till now. I have a  very limited friend circle  , I get hyper easily ,I have social anxiety and completely  habitual with such life .All I wanted to say that judging people on their disabilities is a despicable job . That’s  why I love animals more, at least they don’t hurt you more like what people do purposely .